IELTS Letter, topic: Asking for information about a seminar

You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country.
Task: Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation and cost.

Dear Sir/Madam,

I am writing to ask for information about the seminar that you are conducting during the next week.

I am an electronics wholesale dealer in Pakistan and I am interested to take part in this work-related seminar. I think that it would be very beneficial for me to see the latest electronic appliances and have an excellent opportunity to make contacts with different companies. Therefore, I need to get some information in detail such as the total period of time your seminar takes and the leaflets of different scheduled programs. , I have a plan to come with my two staff members accommodation and total expenditure, which you have estimated for each person.

You could send the above-mentioned information to my e-mail address. I would like to receive it as soon as possible before the departure.

I am looking forward to hearing from you.

Yours faithfully,
Athar Nafees

This is a good letter. It covers the task, the information is organized well and each paragraph covers all the necessary details. There are some inaccuracies (see suggested changes in the comments underlined in blue). Overall, this looks like a Band 7 letter.

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