This essay topic was seen in a recent IELTS test in Australia
These days, many young people are not spending their weekends and holidays doing outdoor activities such as hiking or mountaineering. Why is that happening? How can they be encouraged to spend more time in the natural environment?
Sample Band 8 Essay
Nowadays, the younger generation tends to avoid recreational activities such as hiking or alpinism. It seems that young people prefer to spend their weekends indoors, gaming or engaging in other online activities. If that is the case, by promoting sports more actively and organising sports competitions, the schools could counteract this trend.
Living in the era of technology, the wide availability and variety of online entertainment are compelling young people to spend a lot of their free time indoors, using their gadgets. Numerous relatively cheap forms of amusement, such as online games, videos, audiobooks and plenty of other activities, tempt teenagers to stay at home and lead more sedentary lifestyles. A recent survey revealed that the vast majority of students would prefer spending their weekends playing computer games, rather than in the nature. That is one clear reason why our modern youth is less interested in recreational sports.
To address this issue, the school management could intervene and offer a better range of outdoor sports activities and competitions, both within the school curriculum and as extra-curricular activities. For example, high schools could increase the number of weekly football, running and climbing classes, and organise competitions at the end of each term. As a result, pushed by their desire to win, students would do more walking, jogging, running and mountaineering during the school term, in preparation for the competition. This would reduce the time spent online, lessen the students’ dependence on the Internet for entertainment, and eventually boost their desire to spend more time enjoying the natural environment.
To sum up, screen addiction plays a major role in young people’s avoidance of various outdoor activities. Opening up more recreational sports and offering frequent competitions on school grounds is a great way to motivate more students to spend their leisure time in the nature.
Teacher’s comment: All parts of the task are sufficiently addressed in this response. The writer has developed and supported their ideas well. The use of substitution and referencing helps to maintain coherence throughout the essay (both within and between the paragraphs). The correct use of paragraphing helps the writer to keep their ideas and arguments organised. The range of vocabulary is wide, including uncommon lexical items that have been used appropriately. The bulk of the sentences are error-free, and the writer has used a variety of linguistic constructions. This essay is likely to get Band 8 – 8.5 in IELTS.
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