Some people believe that the government should take care of old people and provide financial support after they retire. Others say individuals should save during their working years to fund their own retirement. What is your opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your own experience.
It is true that when people advance into their golden years, they require more help and attention. For that reason, a significant number of people hold the opinion that the government should provide financial assistance to the elderly. However, I tend to agree with those who argue that workers should be saving a portion of their income to have a nest egg in their retirement.
To begin with, a culture of saving rather than depending on the government may foster the overall economic development of a country. In other words, if people were to accumulate their own savings for their pension age, it would lessen the financial burden on the government. As a result, the government would be able to release more funds to more productive purposes, such as development of infrastructure, industries, hospitals, and so on, which may expedite the overall progression of a country.
In addition to economic factors, putting money aside has some personal benefits. Since savings-oriented people are not dependent on the state for their living expenses, this may instill a sense of self-respect and pride in them. On the other hand, those who are reliant on financial assistance very often face the negative societal stigma, as many people consider them to be inferior and unworthy members of society. Hence, to live a life with dignity and pride, taking responsibility for funding one’s own retirement is evidently a better option from individual perspective.
In contrast, the provision of monetary outlays for retirees has proven unfeasible in many countries. Since in many nations the number of senior citizens is on the rise, in the long run governments are likely to struggle to sustain the cost of providing for the elderly. The early signs of this have been seen in many countries that were forced to raise the retirement age, including my home country where men can now retire at the age of 67 instead of 65. Therefore, in the foreseeable future, these kinds of support may become completely unsustainable.
In conclusion, the provision of state monetary support may undoubtedly lessen the concern of retirees to some extent. However, considering the issue of sustainability of this provision, it is better to opt for individual savings from the very beginning of working life, for the benefit of both individual and national development.
This response addresses all parts of the topic, by discussing the merits of funding one’s own retirement versus relying on government pension. The writer’s opinion has been stated as well and is very clear. The neat presentation of ideas has been helped by appropriate paragraphing, and cohesion and coherence are maintained throughout the essay. The author’s vocabulary seems to be rich and there is a variety of sentence structures used in this essay. Overall, this essay deserves an IELTS Band 8.
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Isnt it infeasible?
The writer did not mention a single example from his own exprience ? how is it going to effect the test score ?
There is an example in paragraph 4.
The writer seems to have left out one side of the argument. The idea that state governments should provide for the elderly should also be addressed. By this I mean WHY these older people deserve financial assistance.