Essay Question
Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree?
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Band 8 Answer
Parenting is one of the major responsibilities that most people take on in their adult life, requiring extensive knowledge and experience to perform well. Since the current school curriculum has no provisions for students to learn about parenting skills, some people have suggested it needs to change in order to help students acquire skills that would equip them well for raising children later in life. From my point of view, this would greatly enhance young people’s confidence and empower them to become better parents and contribute to a more successful, new generation.
The idea of parenting classes being necessary may face some opposition from those who believe that being a parent requires certain personal traits rather than learnt skills, and therefore cannot be taught successfully. The belief that good parenting decisions and actions are driven by one’s character and instincts rather than science, techniques, or guidelines would have some people resist making parental education mandatory in school. If this were the case, however, only a fraction of the population would be able to handle the role of a parent well, whereas in reality the majority of people manage to create loving homes for their children and teach them important moral values.
On the other hand, treating parenting as a skill that can be taught would lead to a wide range of benefits. Since the role of a parent comprises many areas of knowledge, some more specialised than others, such as medicine or psychology, the likelihood of a person acquiring that information on their own is not great. Without sufficient background, adults would be ill-equipped to deal with childhood problems effectively; however, if they knew in advance of the common issues they may encounter as a mother or a father and had solutions presented to them, that would greatly help them cope with almost any situation. To illustrate, childhood misbehaviour is a source of significant stress for some parents, and mastering different approaches for dealing with, for instance, temper tantrums, gives parents confidence and helps them reassure the children while controlling the undesirable behaviour.
In conclusion, while some scepticism as to whether parenting should be taught in schools is understandable, I believe it would empower parents to raise their children in a better way, and the entire society would benefit from a more successful young generation.
Teacher’s feedback:
Your essay is a good example of Band 8 writing.
Task Response: Band 8
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt, presenting a clear argument in favor of teaching parenting skills in schools. You acknowledge the opposing view and refute it with relevant examples, which strengthens your position. The essay maintains focus on the benefits of this education for individuals and society. Expanding on how schools might implement such programs could further support your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
The essay is well-organised, with clear paragraphs that flow logically. You use cohesive devices like “however,” “on the other hand,” and “to illustrate” effectively. The introduction leads into the body well, and the conclusion summarises the argument clearly. A smoother transition between the counterargument and rebuttal could improve cohesion.
Lexical Resource: Band 8
Your vocabulary is varied and appropriate, with effective phrases like “extensive knowledge,” “moral values,” and “parenting as a skill.” Terms such as “specialised knowledge” and “misbehaviour” add depth. To push for a higher score, consider using more advanced or less common expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8
Your essay demonstrates strong grammatical control, with a good mix of complex and compound sentences. For example, the sentence “If this were the case, however, only a fraction of the population would be able to handle the role of a parent well, whereas in reality the majority of people manage to create loving homes for their children and teach them important moral values.” shows effective use of conditional and contrastive structures. Overall, your grammar is strong and contributes to the essay’s coherence.
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