IELTS Essay, topic: Traffic accidents

The best way to reduce the number of traffic accidents is to raise the age limit for younger drivers and to lower the age limit for aged drivers. Do you agree ?

Traffic accidents are on the rise these days. Most of the accidents injuries or death. Research have found that most of the accidents are caused by inexperienced drivers, for example young drivers.

Young drivers tend to be more daring and are unable to avoid a crush when they face one. They tend to be more daring after drinking alcohol at night and this causes them to lose control of the car. Drunk driving will not only risk a person’s own life but may also cause an life to be lost.

The government should encourage the driving to conduct driving lessons for drivers for a longer period. This will give them a clear picture about how accidents happen and teach them about the safety of others on the road. Drivers that have been in an accident after drunk driving should be from driving for at least two years and be given driving lessons again.

However, for the aged drivers, the government should not only the age limit but also check the capability of the aged drivers for instance eyesight, hearing and other related health conditions to ensure safe driving. It does not mean that an aged person not fit to drive and has a problem with the heart but a young or a middle aged person could also have heart failure these days.

To conclude, I feel that to raise the of young drivers not the best solution but to about the problems they may encounter on the road and to ban them from driving if they have caused an accident due to carelessness. As for the drivers, as long as they are capable on the road before a certain age and there are no health issues there shouldn’t be a problem.

This essay is too long; you have written 305 words instead of the advised 250-265. In the first paragraph you should have presented the topic of argument an two opinions. The main issue here is multiple spelling and grammatical errors, see comments underlined in blue for more details. The task is covered, the paragraphs are coherent and logically connected by linking words. Overall, this looks like a Band 6.5 essay.

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