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IELTS Writing Samples

IELTS essay samples (writing task 2), report and letter samples (writing task 1) with Band Scores, marked by IELTS teachers, including comments and suggestions on how to increase your score

IELTS essay, topic: When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks or sports facilities than shopping centers (agree/disagree)

When new towns are planned, it is important to build more public parks or sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Sample Essay

Some people argue that town planners should have a preference for more parks and gyms to be created than business districts and shopping malls. While I understand the concerns of people who hold this opinion, it seems to me that shopping centers are just as important as parks and gyms in a town.

There are reasons why public facilities are crucial to city inhabitants. First of all, they provide suitable spaces and equipment for people to exercise. For example, people can go jogging in the park and play tennis or basketball at the sports stadium. That helps to keep their bodies fit and it also elevates their mood during the day. Besides, parks and sports facilities are good spots for people to socialize with their neighbors. People can connect with others when they are playing sports or talking casually with passers by in the park. A harmonious relationship between residents helps build a caring and friendly neighborhood.

Although parks and gyms give the town dwellers all kinds of benefits, I would like to point out the importance of shopping malls to the district. Firstly, a shopping center could make shopping more convenient for the local residents. It would enable them to easily purchase things in town and transport them home with less effort and at lower cost. They would not need to spend extra money on transportation or shipping of the goods. Secondly, a shopping mall can provide employment. Locals can find work in retail, maintenance or security of the mall, hence earning an income to support their families.

In conclusion, although parks and sports facilities serve as places for exercise and social activities for city dwellers, I believe that shopping centers are equally important, since they can provide job opportunities and convenience to the town residents.

This essay would score well on Task Achievement because it addresses all parts of the question, discusses reasons for and against building more parks than shopping malls and expresses the opinion of the writer. The main ideas are organized well and explained coherently. The range of vocabulary is adequate for the requirements of the task response. Overall, this essay could get Band 8 in IELTS.

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IELTS report, topic: Bar chart and pie chart describing residential water consumption (from IELTS High Scorer’s Choice series, Academic Set 1)

This report was written by a student on a topic from IELTS High Scorer’s Choice series, Academic Set 1 book (page 97, reprinted with permission).

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task

The bar chart below shows the average Australian water consumption in selected cities for last year. The pie chart shows the distribution of Australian water consumption for last year.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words

Bar chart and Pie chart describing residential water consumption (from IELTS High Scorer's Choice series, Academic Set 1 book)

Answer

The bar chart illustrates the average Australian water use in 6 selected cities for last year, while the pie chart describes the share of water each industry consumed in 2014.

Overall, Perth had the highest average water use for last year with 300 kilolitres per property, followed by Adelaide and Brisbane with 240 and 250 kilolitres property respectively. On the other hand, Melbourne and Canberra showed the lowest average water consumption of 150 and 140 kilolitres respectively.

Taking a look at the distribution of water use by industries, we can clearly see that Agriculture took over two thirds of the entire consumption , followed by households . Water Supply, Sewage and Drainage industry consumed the same amount of water as the Electricity sector, 7%. In the same way there was no difference between the consumption of Manufacturing and Other industries, with both sectors using 4% of the national water supply. The smallest user was the Mining industry, accounting for just 2% of Australian water use.

To conclude, the city of Perth and the Agriculture industry had a major impact on the usage of Australian water.

The information on two charts was covered in this well-developed response. The data was grouped correctly and a wide range of vocabulary and sentence structures was used. The minor grammatical mistakes (mouse over words underlined in blue shows the corrections) could have been caught at the final proofreading stage. Overall, this report seems worthy of Band 8.

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the right preposition to use here is “per”, not “of”
the preposition “at” is missing here – “at 67%”
the preposition “at” is missing here – “at 9%”