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IELTS Writing Samples

IELTS essay samples (writing task 2), report and letter samples (writing task 1) with Band Scores, marked by IELTS teachers, including comments and suggestions on how to increase your score

IELTS Band 9 essay, topic: Schools should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today (agree/disagree)

This is a model response to a Writing Task 2 topic from High Scorer’s Choice IELTS Practice Tests book series (reprinted with permission). This answer is likely to score IELTS Band 9.

Set 1 Academic book, Practice Test 1

Writing Task 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.


Write about the following topic:

Today’s schools should teach their students how to survive financially in the world today. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.


You should write at least 250 words.

Answer

In schools, students learn to analyse literature, calculate using trigonometry and understand how photosynthesis works, but often students are inexperienced and helpless after graduation when encountering the real world. It is therefore argued that schools should teach their students how to survive financially in the world.

This topic is difficult, though. Many educators believe that a school is supposed to teach students in subjects that they will most probably not encounter again post-graduation, so that teachers can develop open-minded and well-informed individuals. At the same time, it can be argued that schools should impart skills that would be applicable in everyday life. Mathematics, for example, is supposed to not only communicate actual mathematics skills, but also teach logic to students. However, schools are supposed to prepare the youths for their lives following high school. Currently this goal is not fully met, as often students are unable to handle their finances sensibly and therefore can often face significant problems. Schools that teach students how to survive financially could change this.

This significant shift in the ideology of education is unlikely to take place soon, as the education system has been in place for too long to be easily changed. Also a change of this scale would be costly, as teachers would have to be trained and a syllabus for this potential subject would have to be created. However, in some countries, for example Germany, a community subject is available in which politics and finances are discussed. This leaves students from Germany in a better situation to deal with finances in their lives.

In conclusion, I believe that training school students in financial matters would be very useful. Adding new content to the syllabus would require a significant amount of money, but the entire community would benefit from students being better prepared for adult life.

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IELTS essay, topic: Some think that children should leave their family home as soon as possible while others believe they should stay for as long as they like (discuss)

Some people think that it is best to encourage children to leave their family home as soon as possible. Others believe children should stay at the family home for as long as they like. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Sample Essay

Although it is thought by some that urging young people to abandon their family home at an early age is beneficial for them, others believe that it is better if children stay with their families for longer. In my opinion, leaving family home early has many advantages for children.

On the one people think that youngsters ought to leave their parents’ house so as to learn life skills at an early age. Their reasoning is that it should push young people towards independence and make them learn from life lessons rather than merely rely on their parents. For example, students who pursue tertiary study away from their home city might learn taking personal responsibility. Also, living independently will teach children a lot by presenting some difficulties, which, consequently, will add some more experience that may prove essential in their future lives.

On the other hand, it is argued that children should stay with their parents for longer for several reasons. Firstly, young people need advice from adults, and no one would be better suited to that than their parents. Secondly, life can be generally harsh, for children in particular. In other words, they might or take unnecessary risks if they mix with the wrong crowd. It is commonly known that young people tend to be by unethical people. To avoid that, being under parental supervision is utterly important for children.

To sum up, while people’s opinions may vary, I believe that young people should leave their family home at an early age, while parents ought to provide them with appropriate advice and keep an eye on their well-being.

This essay covers the task by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of leaving the family home early in life, and the writer’s opinion has been clearly stated. The arguments for and against have been organised in paragraphs and supported by examples. Accuracy of expression needs some work (see suggested corrections underlined in blue) and in one case sentence structure needs more attention. Overall, assuming the errors were corrected, this essay could score Band 8 in IELTS.

Click here to see more IELTS essays of Band 8

the words ‘I consider that’ are redundant because the sentence starts with ‘In my opinion’
this should read ‘On the one hand, some…’ – the full stop should be replaced with a comma and ‘some’ should continue the sentence, instead of starting a new one
the words ‘tend to’ are unnecessary and should be removed
‘get in trouble’ is a better way to say this
the correct way to say this is ‘easily influenced’