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IELTS Writing Samples

IELTS essay samples (writing task 2), report and letter samples (writing task 1) with Band Scores, marked by IELTS teachers, including comments and suggestions on how to increase your score

IELTS Band 9 essay, topic: The world today is a safer place and governments should stop spending large amounts of money on their armed forces (agree/disagree).

This is a model response to a Writing Task 2 topic from High Scorer’s Choice IELTS Practice Tests book series (reprinted with permission). This answer is likely to score IELTS Band 9.

Set 2 Academic book, Practice Test 6

Writing Task 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

The world today is a safer place than it was a hundred years ago, and governments should stop spending large amounts of money on their armed forces.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

You should write at least 250 words.

Answer

It is now some time since the whole world was involved in one war. The world nowadays is no comparison to the past, when millions of soldiers were lost on the battlefield. As the world today is significantly safer than previously, it can be argued that governments should stop spending large amounts of money on their military forces.

The last World War dates back nearly seventy years and, since 1945, no conflict has taken place in western countries. Thus, people have suggested that spending money on necessities within society instead of armed forces is more useful. However, this is very difficult, as even though no significant conflict has taken place in western countries, they are still involved in the conflicts of other countries. For example, the US contribution in the Iraqi war has only recently ended. For such involvement of military forces in foreign lands, countries still need to have strong armed forces, in case they are needed.

In some countries like the UK, the military is already significantly weaker than it has been in the past. However, historically, a hundred years is not that long and because no conflict has happened recently, this does not mean that there will be no conflict in the future. At the outbreak of World War Two, the UK was seriously under-prepared, as it had been thought that the horrors of World War One had convinced everyone of the uselessness of war.

In conclusion, certain armed forces are necessary for major countries even though the world is safer than a hundred years ago. They might need to intervene in conflicts in other countries and world peace is by no means assured for the future.

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IELTS essay, topic: In the past people wore their traditional clothes, but these days most people wear similar clothes, is this a positive or negative development?

In the past, people wore their traditional clothes and followed their culture. These days, most people wear similar clothes and therefore look very similar to one another. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Sample Essay

These days, people’s perspectives on the value of clothing are changing, and individuals tend to wear similar clothing compared to people in the past who opted for their traditional clothing. I believe this tendency exerts a positive influence on the society.

It is certainly true that there are some drawbacks to this tendency because it may lead to a loss of global diversity. It can be argued those who wear ordinary clothes such as T-shirts and jeans cannot feel a connection to their roots, and they are likely to neglect their culture and the contribution of their ancestors. Therefore, these people may not take pride in their region, and they might migrate to an urban location rather than contribute to the development of their community. Consequently, many ethnic minorities could suffer from depopulation and eventually disappear.

However, I believe that there are more positives than negatives in people opting for similar clothes. The first explanation is that individuals can feel a sense of unity with people all over the world even though they have different religions and ways of life. This would motivate people in the world to support one another, instead of thinking that different parts of the world should deal with their own problems when natural disasters and other terrible problems occur in different nations. Furthermore, this tendency is economically profitable. Generally speaking, as ordinary clothes are automatically manufactured, they can be produced faster and more affordably than traditional clothing such as Japanese Kimono, which is hand-crafted.

In conclusion, although people today tend to wear similar clothes instead of traditional ones and this trend cause several problems, I believe that the society as a whole can reap more benefits of this tendency.

All parts of the task have been covered. The writer presents a well‐developed position that addresses all parts of the task prompt with suitable, widely covered and sufficiently supported ideas. The paragraphing is handled appropriately. The range of vocabulary allows the writer to convey the intended meaning. The overall control of grammar and punctuation is fine, with only a few errors mostly related to word choice (hover/tap on corrections in blue for details). Well done! Overall, this essay seems worthy of IELTS Band 8.

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‘the’ is not needed here
‘idea’ or ‘mindset’ would be a better word choice here
‘may’ is a better word choice here because the writer is speculating