IELTS Writing Samples

Some people think that it is fine for professional sportsmen and sportswomen to misbehave on or off the field, as long as they are playing well.

Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Sample Essay

Although most professional athletes are aware of their position as role models for their fans and behave accordingly, there are sportsmen and sportswomen who behave poorly during matches and in their private life. While some people find it acceptable as long as their performance on the field is not impacted, not everyone agrees with that point of view.

Those who put athletes’ performance on the field above everything else point out that competitive environment and immense pressure the sports people are under affect their behavior. They argue that athletes are entitled to privacy and their actions before and after games should not concern the general public. I find this hard to agree with, because poor behavior in sports people is incompatible with their role in public’s life and also for the reason that their actions could negatively affect their entire sports industry.

The main reason why I believe athletes should behave well at all times is that their behavior is tremendously influential. Spectators respect players and many copy their actions and behavior; therefore, if top players misbehave or violate laws, some of the fans may feel compelled to follow their example and behave badly. For example, after an acclaimed baseball player was caught using drugs some years ago, the number of people who were arrested for the same crime significantly increased. This shows quite clearly why high profile players should consider their actions very carefully in order to promote a peaceful society.

In addition, the behavior of athletes might affect the popularity of their sports. Some companies sponsor successful athletes who boost their brand recognition and sales of their products. Players and sports industry executives are financially compensated for endorsing products and participating in commercial advertisements. If they demonstrate poor behavior, sponsors could direct their money elsewhere, and as a result sports matches could suffer due to lack of funds. To illustrate, Sumo, a traditional Japanese sport, is held every season thanks to resources donated by companies. In a year when a Sumo player was involved in a violent crime, no matches were held, resulting in a large deficit of funds.

In conclusion, I completely disagree with the opinion that top athletes are permitted to behave badly because their behavior may negatively influence the public behavior and sports industry itself.

Assessor’s comment: This response addresses both sides of the argument by exploring the reasons why some people think athletes are allowed to behave poorly as long as they play well, and the reasons why others think poor behavior has no excuse. This response deserves a high score for task achievement because of that. A good range of cohesive devices is used in this essay; that and the organisation of ideas makes it easy to follow. Sentence structures are varied and the vocabulary is quite rich, the author also showed good control of grammar and spelling. It is worth noting that this sample is longer than the recommended 260 – 285 words, however, this isn’t an issue provided the author can complete an essay of this length and quality in under 40 minutes. Overall this is a good example of a Band 8 essay.

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Some people believe that women should be treated as equal to men when applying for a job with the police or the military. Others think that women are less suitable for this kind of job. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Sample Essay

In recent years gender equality in employment has been the topic of heated debate. While some may argue that women are less suited for certain jobs such as with the police or the military, I believe that female candidates should be treated the same as their male counterparts.

Those who consider women to be unsuited for some kinds of jobs including the police or the military often hold that opinion because such jobs are extremely physically demanding. As the female body has smaller muscles and less physical strength compared to male body, women may have difficulty engaging in strenuous activity which can be exhausting even for men. In military service, female soldiers are more likely to struggle while defending themselves than their male peers when they are forced to move around carrying heavy firearms in the battle, which can increase their risk of mission failure. Because of the hazards and extreme conditions they may encounter, some people advocate that women are not suitable for work in these fields.

Nevertheless, I believe that female applicants should be considered for police or military placements without a gender bias, because women are more suited to certain tasks. In the police service, female officers can perform important roles on some occasions such as a body search where male officers are restricted from touching female convicts. In the military service, female nursing staff are more likely to care better for injured soldiers since maternal instinct makes them dedicated and heart-warming professionals. Furthermore, for the sake of fairness to all, job seekers should have an equal opportunity to choose their jobs freely, regardless of gender. Many women have the desire to work in the police and the military and some of them have relevant expertise and qualifications. Therefore, they should not be discriminated against in employment opportunities for these jobs.

In conclusion, although some say that women are incompatible with police and military duties because of the high physical demands, I believe that they should be treated as equal to men. This is because there are certain roles with the police and the military that are more suitable for women than men, and therefore both genders should have equal employment opportunities.

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