IELTS Writing Samples

Some people say education is the only critical factor to the development of a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

One the one hand good education is a highly recommended skill in the developed countries, on the other hand of many people in regions of poverty. But what makes education key factor for the development of a country

We must acknowledge that education is something that we all need. The differences are just what we learn. Mostly the limited educational horizons of poor and less educated people have more to deal with their personal situation than with problems of bigger effects on a country. Attending school is sometimes too expensive and it does not feed a family.

Nevertheless there must be a reason for education. For me it looks like some countries have realized that Education is the key for the globalization process. If we take India for example we can see that a change in the educational system had changed the economy of the country. country has changed from a poor region to a high potential for IT knowledge.

In regard to this fact of education seriously and offer it to a wide range of people. Spending money education is the key tippy title=”for”]to[/tippy] a new future effects on the economy and social life. All in all I agree with the importance of education for the development of a country. Less knowledge leads to poverty and . Learning and Knowledge is Power and an investment in the near future and therefore it has to be an official task.

This essay covers the task. It has a good structure, however the conclusion paragraph is too big – consider splitting it into 2 paragraphs, with the last one being the conclusion. As to the structure of sentences, there are several sentences that should be rephrased (see comments for suggestions). The grammar also needs some attention (see underlined in blue comments for details). Overall, this looks like a band 6.5 essay.

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Financial education should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many countries the discussion about the rising financial problems of young people has been getting more emphasis. some people are voting to integrate financial education as a .

The key problem for many young people is that they don’t know how to use and spend money in the right way. The “get what you want mentality” is widely advertised by the mass media and it looks like some people think that living is normal. Though financial problems in young life are very common with the result that . The main idea of teaching a financial subject must be to explain about a balanced budget and that debt could ruins one’s future.

this is just one side that has to be considered. For me, the main question is why the parents cannot give the right advice to their kids? To leave such a personal subject in the hands of government and school means to ignore a key task of any parent: to be a good role model.

Moreover it should be that the social effects of talking about money and finance in a socially diverse school class can be harmful for some students. In my opinion it is more important to teach parents about their responsibilities as a role model and have them educate the children about this private topic in a safe and private environment.

All in all I think the main task of public institutions should be to educate about common subjects and not to give such personal advice like the use of money.

This essay is not bad. It has the right structure – 5 paragraphs, and it covers the task. The paragraphs can be improved – make them similar in size, the 2nd paragraph is too long compared to the 3rd . The grammar and spelling need some attention and the linking words could be used more elegantly, see details in the comments underlined in blue. Overall, this looks like a Band 6.5 essay.

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