IELTS Writing Samples

Dieting can change a person’s life for the better or ruins one’s health completely. What is your opinion?

Almost of the women today want a beautiful figure. That is why we are able to find a diet programme almost everywhere in the country. Most of the women have and gone on a diet before either to or just health problem.

A proper diet programme will help you not only to slim down but also to have a eating habits. For instance more vegetables and fruits meat, fried food and carbonated drinks. For a diet programme we shouldn’t food and water. There are some diet programmes from the doctors that help you to have a heart like the “Three day diet” which we can find on the Internet. This programme allows you to eat fruits and also some meat. This way of dieting will help you to avoid some of the health problems in the future like or a heart attack.

However some people do not only go on a diet but they avoid eating and hungry for the whole day. All they have is just either water or juices. Also there people who buy special diet programmes over the counter which are not approved by the health department and they are doing so without consulting a doctor first. They do not follow the basic rules of dieting and this will lead them to some serious health problems like of some body parts or, even worse, death.

In my opinion there is wrong with going on a diet as long as we follow the correct way of eating and .

This essay needs some work. It covers the task and has a good structure. The paragraphs are logically connected and many of sentences are structured correctly. However, there are some sentences with poor structure and many grammatical errors (See comments underlined in blue). Overall, this looks like a band 6.5 essay.

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People attend college or university for many different reasons (for example, new experiences, career preparation, or to increase knowledge).

Why do you think people attend college or university? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Many people after their high school years for several reason which they choose . I believe that the most common reason why people to have new experiences on life , to prepare for a career, and to increase their knowledge of their personality.

Firstly, many people to have new experience in life. Many students leave their home and move to live when they go to university. This is the first time that they had to make a resolution on their own, without their parents’ help. Making their own decisions will increase their knowledge of themselves. Moreover, students university can meet different students from different nationalities and religions so students can learn about different around the world.

Secondly, many people go to university or collage to prepare for a career. Career training is becoming more important nowadays to young people compared to old people. At college, students learn many skills for their career and they internship with a lot of chances. All of these prepare them for their career.

Also, students attend university or college to increase their self-knowledge of their personality life. They attend increase their knowledge in subjects which they find interesting. For example, many students study science because they are in science but they work .

To sum up, I think people should not only focus on a career when they go to university or college. They have to follow to have new experience and knowledge about their personality and the great world around them which they live in.

This essay needs much work. There are many grammatical errors, incorrectly used prepositions and inaccurate expressions (see comments underlined in blue). There are many repetitions of the same expressions – try to avoid that as much as possible. The task is covered, the paragraphs are connected by linking words – but the way you use them is rather primitive. Overall, this looks like a Band 6 essay.

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