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IELTS Writing Samples

IELTS essay samples (writing task 2), report and letter samples (writing task 1) with Band Scores, marked by IELTS teachers, including comments and suggestions on how to increase your score

IELTS essay, topic: The role of parents and family in the future success of a person is more important than knowledge and skills learnt at school (agree/disagree)

IELTS Model Essay Sample Band 8 September 2023

This essay topic was seen in recent IELTS test in Kazakhstan.

The role of parents and family in the future success of a person is more important than knowledge and skills learnt at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The significance of parents and family versus school education in shaping a person’s future success has long been debated. While some argue that parental guidance and familial support are paramount, others contend that knowledge and skills acquired in school play a pivotal role. Personally, I believe that the role of parents and family, although crucial, should not overshadow the importance of formal education in determining future success.

To begin, parents and family undoubtedly have a profound impact on a person’s development. From an early age, children absorb values, attitudes, and behaviours from their family environment. Parents provide emotional support, nurture talents, and instil vital life skills such as resilience, discipline, and work ethic. The role of parents in nurturing confidence, fostering interpersonal skills, and encouraging personal growth cannot be understated.

However, the argument that parents and family solely determine a person’s success is flawed. School education equips individuals with essential knowledge, critical thinking abilities, and academic qualifications that form the foundation for future opportunities. Schools provide a structured learning environment, exposure to diverse perspectives, and a platform for social interaction and skill development. Furthermore, formal education fosters independence, adaptability, and the ability to navigate challenges beyond the familial context.

In conclusion, while the role of parents and family in shaping a person’s success is undeniably important, it is equally crucial to acknowledge the vital role of formal education in preparing individuals for the challenges and opportunities they will encounter in their lives. Parents and family provide a nurturing environment, values, and life skills, while schools offer a comprehensive education, knowledge acquisition, and social growth. Therefore, a balanced approach that appreciates the significance of both aspects is the key to fostering holistic development and maximising future success.

Teacher’s feedback:

Overall, this essay is worthy of IELTS Band 8. Here are the reasons why:

Task Response: Band 8
The essay presents a nuanced argument that recognises the importance of both parental guidance and formal education. The writer clearly states their position, arguing that while the role of parents and family is crucial, it should not overshadow the importance of education. This is substantiated by discussing the unique contributions of both influences on personal development and future success.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
The essay is well-organised, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, with the first discussing the role of parents and the second the importance of school education. The use of transition phrases like “To begin,” “However,” and “In conclusion” effectively guides the reader through the essay, enhancing its coherence and cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 8
The essay demonstrates a strong command of vocabulary, with terms such as “paramount,” “pivotal role,” “nurture talents,” “instil vital life skills,” and “comprehensive education.” This varied and precise vocabulary helps to convey complex ideas clearly and effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8
The essay showcases a wide range of grammatical structures used accurately. Complex grammatical structures are used without error, as in “Schools provide a structured learning environment, exposure to diverse perspectives, and a platform for social interaction and skill development,” demonstrating the writer’s grammatical proficiency.

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IELTS essay, topic: Social media helps people to keep in touch with friends and stay on top of news and events (advantages/disadvantages)

IELTS Model Essay Sample Band 8 August 2023

This essay topic was seen in a recent IELTS test in Canada.

Social media helps people to keep in touch with friends and stay on top of news and events. Do you think the advantages of social media outweigh the disadvantages?

Sample Band 8 Essay

Since its inception, social media has revolutionised the way people connect and access information. It has become a prevalent tool for keeping in touch with friends and staying updated on news and events. While there are clear advantages to social media in terms of connectivity and information dissemination, it is crucial to critically examine whether these benefits outweigh the potential disadvantages.

On the one hand, social media offers numerous advantages. Firstly, it serves as a powerful platform for individuals to maintain and strengthen relationships with friends. Through features such as messaging, video calls, and photo sharing, people can connect with their loved ones, regardless of geographical barriers. This enhances interpersonal connections and fosters a sense of belonging, especially in a fast-paced and globalised world. Additionally, social media plays a pivotal role in keeping users updated on news and events. It provides a real-time stream of information, allowing individuals to stay informed about local and global affairs.

Despite these advantages, it is crucial to consider the potential drawbacks of social media. One significant concern is the impact on mental well-being. Extensive use of social media has been linked to increased levels of anxiety, depression, and feelings of social isolation. The constant exposure to carefully curated highlights and reels of others’ lives can lead to self-comparison and feeling of inadequacy. Privacy and security concerns are another set of drawbacks associated with social media. Users often share personal information and details of their lives, making them susceptible to privacy breaches and identity theft.

In conclusion, while social media undeniably provides valuable means for keeping in touch with friends and staying informed about news and events, it is also crucial to acknowledge the potential disadvantages associated with its usage. Personally, I appreciate the benefits social media has to offer and believe that its drawbacks can be mitigated by fostering responsible usage practices and advocating for platform improvements, so that individuals and society can harness the benefits of social media while minimising its negative impacts.

Teacher’s comment:

This is a good example of a Band 8 essay.

Task Response: Band 8

Your essay effectively addresses the task prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of social media. It presents a clear introduction, discusses the advantages in one paragraph and the disadvantages in the next, and concludes with a balanced viewpoint. Your personal opinion is clearly stated.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8

The structure of your essay is clear, you are using paragraphs appropriately for the introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion. Within paragraphs, ideas are logically developed, and appropriate linking words and phrases are used to connect sentences and ideas. This helps create a smooth flow of information throughout the essay.

Lexical Resource: Band 8

You’ve demonstrated a good range of vocabulary. There were no significant issues with word choice or repetition. Well done for using words such as:
“revolutionised”- to convey the idea that social media has brought about significant and transformative changes
“prevalent” – to describe the widespread nature of social media
“interpersonal connections” – to refer to relationships between individuals
pivotal role” – to emphasize the significance of social media

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8

Overall, the essay exhibits strong grammatical control. A variety of sentence structures is used effectively. There are only minor grammatical errors, such as slight articles or preposition misuse. For example, “feeling of inadequacy” should be “feelings of inadequacy.”

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