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IELTS Writing Samples

IELTS essay samples (writing task 2), report and letter samples (writing task 1) with Band Scores, marked by IELTS teachers, including comments and suggestions on how to increase your score

IELTS essay, topic: Education in financial management should be a mandatory component of the school program, agree/disagree (from Target Band 7 book)

This essay was written on a topic from “Target Band 7” book (page 54, reprinted with permission).

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task

Education in financial management should be a mandatory component of the school program. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

Write at least 250 words

More and more young adults in our country are heavily indebted. Thus, it is considered by some that it should be mandatory to educate school children the administration of money. In my opinion, people should not leave school without a sound knowledge of financial management.

To begin with, a country’s development is strongly upon the purchasing capacity of its inhabitants. That is to say, people who are in debt or financially vulnerable, would not be able to spend freely or invest, for example, in a new house, thus hindering the economic growth of the country. As a consequence, the rate of inflation would rise and people would be able to afford even less, which could ultimately result in the collapse of the entire economy. A good example of this vicious circle can be seen in countries such as Argentina, where people have to buy household items in the black market, because they cannot afford to buy them in regular stores due to skyrocketing prices. Therefore, it is of utmost importance to teach children early money management.

Another point to consider is the low standard of living that people have when they mismanage their finances. Individuals who are constantly short of money could eventually end up being socially isolated and unhappy, because they couldn’t afford to participate in leisure activities, such as going to the cinema with a friend, resulting in their from social life. However, this could be avoided with ease by offering courses in money management.

In conclusion, I strongly believe that school children should be taught how to manage their finances to prevent social isolation later in their life as well as to maintain the economic force of their country.

The writer’s position is clear throughout the essay. Paragraphing is used effectively to organise ideas and information, however the paragraphs could have been balanced better in terms of the amount of content. The advanced vocabulary the writer uses creates a good impression of mature and fluent writer. Overall, the control of grammar and punctuation is fine, and the number of errors is small. The essay could achieve Band 8 in IELTS.

Click here to see more IELTS essays of Band 8

‘about’ is the right preposition
‘dependent’ is the right word
‘about’ is the right preposition here
‘withdrawal’ is the right word here

IELTS essay, topic: Dieting can change a person’s life for better or worse (from Target Band 7 book)

This essay was written on a topic from “Target Band 7” book (page 54, reprinted with permission).

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task

Dieting can change a person’s life for the better or ruin one’s health completely. What is your opinion?

Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

Write at least 250 words

Some argue that dieting has an extraordinary impact on one’s life, whereas others are of a view that it absolutely adversely affects a person’s health. It cannot be denied that dieting taken to extremes may cause more harm than good, however, in my opinion effective dieting is pivotal for maintaining good health and keeping a more attractive body shape.

First of all, the possibility of increasing level of physical health lies with incorporating proper dieting in our lives. It is reasonable to suggest that dieting is effective for controlling our body weight within an ideal range in order to achieve the normal score of body mass index (BMI), which is essential for preventing us from overweight or obese. As a result, the risk of suffering an illness will be reduced. A recent research concluded that dieting is one of the most effective measures to cut down one’s body weight among the obese group, and it helps to improve their medical condition indirectly.

Moreover, dieting is crucial for keeping ideal body features regardless of gender and age. A fit and presentable body outlook absolutely boosts up one’s level in his or her social life, not to mention professions that require keeping one’s body in an attractive physical shape. For example, dieting is adopted as a popular way for reducing weight among actors and actresses. A recent article reported that an actress who successfully regained her slim body after a period of dieting was offered an excellent job opportunity in the Hollywood film industry.

In conclusion, in my opinion dieting has a positive influence on one’s life in terms of maintaining a profound level of health and keeping a more attractive body outlook.

The writer’s opinion is very clear from the start and throughout the entire essay. Paragraphing is used effectively to organise ideas and information. The use of advanced vocabulary enables accuracy of expression and highlights flexibility. Overall, the control of grammar and punctuation is good, with only a few errors made. The essay is a good example of an IELTS Band 8 work.

Click here to see more IELTS essays of Band 8

‘becoming’ is a better word choice
obesity-related
‘confidence’ is the right word