IELTS Essays – Band 9

This is a model response to a Writing Task 2 topic from High Scorer’s Choice IELTS Practice Tests book series (reprinted with permission). This answer is close to IELTS Band 9.

Set 5 Academic book, Practice Test 22

Writing Task 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

It is a fact that the majority of people who are sent to prison commit further crime after their release.

What is causing this? What can be done to change this?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

You should write at least 250 words.

Sample Band 9 Essay

It is a sad fact that criminals who leave prison go on to commit further crime. There are various reasons for this, but there are also some things that can be done to prevent it from happening.

One reason for this recidivism is due to a lack of legitimate income. Many people turn to crime as they cannot find an alternative to earn money. When such person comes out of prison, it is very often the case that they have the same few opportunities for a legitimate income. In fact, these opportunities will even be reduced, as employers are often less willing to give an ex-prisoner a job. Some people also return to crime, as they spend all the time of their prison sentence with other criminals. This is not a great environment for rehabilitation, and sometimes even a network of contacts can be made to help develop criminal activities on release.

One important way to help address this problem is education. Criminals who have turned to illegal activities because of no alternatives to earn a living need to learn a way to earn a wage, such as a trade or vocational skills. Computer skills, for example, are in high demand and someone trained in these could very possibly find work. In addition, governments can offer incentives to employers to attract them to give jobs to newly-released prisoners. This would help people who don’t really want to return to crime achieve a fresh start. As keeping people in prison is an expensive business, governments might find it cheaper to pay these incentives.

To sum up, people returning to crime is a tragedy that should be avoided if at all possible in today’s society. Education and incentives can directly address the reasons for it and could make society a happier and safer place.

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This is a model response to a Writing Task 2 topic from High Scorer’s Choice IELTS Practice Tests book series (reprinted with permission). This answer is close to IELTS Band 9.

Set 4 General Training book, Practice Test 20

Writing Task 2

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

Write about the following topic:

Social media has become a real problem for some young people today, and governments should create laws that allow only people over 18 years of age to have accounts.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

You should write at least 250 words.

Sample Band 9 Essay

Social media today is extremely significant to a majority of the population, especially the younger generation. Many teenagers find it exceptionally convenient and necessary for communication and entertainment. However, not everyone is able to use social media responsibly, which gave rise to the idea of making it accessible to only those older than eighteen years of age.

Though there are negatives, such as cyber-bullying, or being too distracted by these modern media, there are issues surrounding most things in life. It is a choice to go onto a social media website, and many younger people are capable of managing accounts without any difficulties. It is not the government’s responsibility to monitor under eighteen-year olds; that is for the parents.

Statistics show that over eighty per cent of teens use a form of online social media. It allows them to chat online, easily stay in contact with friends and family across the world, and see updates on others’ lives (through text, photos or videos). Social media is a way to express thoughts or ideas and to stay in contact with the rest of the world.

To not permit one of the largest Internet-using demographics to use social media because a few people have problems with it is an irrational and an unfair restriction. Not only would profit be lost with fewer users, but controlling who creates accounts and monitoring proof of age would be difficult as well. I believe that laws should not make social media inaccessible to young people under eighteen; this would be unnecessary and absurd.

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