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IELTS Essays – Band 8

IELTS Writing – Band 8 IELTS Sample Essays

IELTS essay, topic: Schools should teach every young person how to be a good parent (agree/disagree)

IELTS Model Essay Sample Band 9 October 2024

Essay Question

Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree?

Download the Sample Band 8 Essay here

Band 8 Answer

Parenting is one of the major responsibilities that most people take on in their adult life, requiring extensive knowledge and experience to perform well. Since the current school curriculum has no provisions for students to learn about parenting skills, some people have suggested it needs to change in order to help students acquire skills that would equip them well for raising children later in life. From my point of view, this would greatly enhance young people’s confidence and empower them to become better parents and contribute to a more successful, new generation.

The idea of parenting classes being necessary may face some opposition from those who believe that being a parent requires certain personal traits rather than learnt skills, and therefore cannot be taught successfully. The belief that good parenting decisions and actions are driven by one’s character and instincts rather than science, techniques, or guidelines would have some people resist making parental education mandatory in school. If this were the case, however, only a fraction of the population would be able to handle the role of a parent well, whereas in reality the majority of people manage to create loving homes for their children and teach them important moral values.

On the other hand, treating parenting as a skill that can be taught would lead to a wide range of benefits. Since the role of a parent comprises many areas of knowledge, some more specialised than others, such as medicine or psychology, the likelihood of a person acquiring that information on their own is not great. Without sufficient background, adults would be ill-equipped to deal with childhood problems effectively; however, if they knew in advance of the common issues they may encounter as a mother or a father and had solutions presented to them, that would greatly help them cope with almost any situation. To illustrate, childhood misbehaviour is a source of significant stress for some parents, and mastering different approaches for dealing with, for instance, temper tantrums, gives parents confidence and helps them reassure the children while controlling the undesirable behaviour.

In conclusion, while some scepticism as to whether parenting should be taught in schools is understandable, I believe it would empower parents to raise their children in a better way, and the entire society would benefit from a more successful young generation.

Teacher’s feedback:

Your essay is a good example of Band 8 writing.

Task Response: Band 8
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt, presenting a clear argument in favor of teaching parenting skills in schools. You acknowledge the opposing view and refute it with relevant examples, which strengthens your position. The essay maintains focus on the benefits of this education for individuals and society. Expanding on how schools might implement such programs could further support your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
The essay is well-organised, with clear paragraphs that flow logically. You use cohesive devices like “however,” “on the other hand,” and “to illustrate” effectively. The introduction leads into the body well, and the conclusion summarises the argument clearly. A smoother transition between the counterargument and rebuttal could improve cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 8
Your vocabulary is varied and appropriate, with effective phrases like “extensive knowledge,” “moral values,” and “parenting as a skill.” Terms such as “specialised knowledge” and “misbehaviour” add depth. To push for a higher score, consider using more advanced or less common expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8
Your essay demonstrates strong grammatical control, with a good mix of complex and compound sentences. For example, the sentence “If this were the case, however, only a fraction of the population would be able to handle the role of a parent well, whereas in reality the majority of people manage to create loving homes for their children and teach them important moral values.” shows effective use of conditional and contrastive structures. Overall, your grammar is strong and contributes to the essay’s coherence.

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IELTS essay, topic: More people move away from their friends and families for work (advantages/disadvantages)

IELTS Model Essay Sample Band 8 September 2024

This essay topic was seen in a recent IELTS test in India.

Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

Sample Band 8 Essay

In recent years, an increasing number of people have chosen to relocate away from their friends and families for employment opportunities. Driven by globalisation and the pursuit of career advancement, the decision to move away has a high potential for professional growth, a benefit that often comes at the expense of family ties. I believe that on balance, the advantages of such a move outweigh the disadvantages.

One of the primary attractions of relocating for work is the potential for career advancement. Major cities in one’s own country and abroad often offer a wealth of job opportunities, better salaries, and a chance to work with leading companies. For example, a software engineer moving from a small town to a tech hub like Silicon Valley might gain access to cutting-edge projects and substantial career growth. This enhanced professional landscape can lead to greater job satisfaction and long-term financial stability. Another positive aspect of living in a new city or country is the exposure to diverse cultures, ideas, and lifestyles, promoting personal growth and adaptability. Moving away can cultivate a sense of independence and resilience, as being in a new environment challenges individuals to become more self-reliant and resourceful.

However, such relocations are likely to cause a strain on personal relationships, as physical distance makes it difficult to maintain close ties with family and friends. This separation can result in feelings of loneliness and homesickness, affecting one’s mental well-being. For example, an expatriate living far from home might miss important family events, leading to a sense of isolation and disconnection. The absence of a local support network can exacerbate feelings of stress and anxiety, particularly in times of personal or professional crisis.

In conclusion, while moving away from friends and family for work involves some sacrifices, particularly in maintaining personal relationships, I find the advantages related to career advancement, personal growth, and independence more compelling.

Teacher’s comment:

This is a good example of a Band 8 essay.

Task Response: Band 8

Your essay effectively addresses the task prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of relocating for work. It presents a clear introduction, discusses the advantages in one paragraph and the disadvantages in the next, and concludes with a balanced viewpoint. Your personal opinion is clearly stated and well-supported throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8

The structure of your essay is clear, using paragraphs appropriately for the introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion. Within paragraphs, ideas are logically developed, and appropriate linking words and phrases are used to connect sentences and ideas. This helps create a smooth flow of information throughout the essay, making it easy to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 8

You’ve demonstrated a strong range of vocabulary. There were no significant issues with word choice or repetition. Well done for using words such as:
“relocate” – to describe the act of moving to a new place for work
“globalization” – to discuss the broader context of why people move for work
“self-reliant” and “resourceful” – to highlight the personal growth aspect
“exacerbate” – to describe the intensifying of feelings of stress and anxiety

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8

Overall, the essay shows strong grammatical control. A variety of sentence structures is used effectively. There are only minor grammatical errors, such as slight article or preposition misuse – for example, ensuring correct article usage such as “the enhanced professional landscape” rather than “this enhanced professional landscape.” This does not detract from the overall clarity and readability of the essay.

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