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IELTS Essays – Band 8

IELTS Writing – Band 8 IELTS Sample Essays

IELTS essay, topic: Many criminals commit more crimes as soon as they are released from prison (reasons and solutions)

IELTS Model Essay Sample Band 8 May 2024

This essay topic was seen in recent IELTS test in Italy.

Many criminals commit more crimes as soon as they are released from prison. What do you think are the causes of this? What possible solutions can you suggest?

The problem of reoffending following the release of criminals from correctional facilities is likely caused by insufficient rehabilitation programmes and the negative perception of ex-offenders in society. Improving jail rehabilitation programmes and lowering stigma through legal changes can be potentially effective solutions.

At the root of recidivism lies the lack of comprehensive rehabilitation in prisons. Many facilities emphasise punishment over rehabilitation, failing to address the primary causes that drive individuals to crime. For example, offenders with poor mental health or substance abuse problems often receive insufficient treatment, which leads to high reoffending rates upon release. Similarly, offenders who committed crimes out of desperation stemming from living in abject poverty are likely to turn to crime again in order to survive. Moreover, the stigma attached to having a criminal record complicates reintegration. It diminishes their chances of obtaining stable employment and social acceptance, thus pushing them back into criminal activities.

Effective reduction of recidivism requires prisons to enhance rehabilitation programmes, incorporating mental health services, substance abuse treatment, and vocational training to improve employability. The duration of most sentences convicts are serving is of sufficient length to allow rectification of the issues that originally led them to crime, provided that prisons have expert-led and sufficiently funded programmes in place. Additionally, societal efforts to reduce the stigma associated with past criminals are crucial. This includes legal reforms to protect the rights of ex-offenders and public awareness campaigns to change societal perceptions. The success of countries like Sweden, with a focus on rehabilitation and low recidivism rates, demonstrates the effectiveness of this approach.

In conclusion, tackling recidivism effectively necessitates a holistic approach that includes better rehabilitation within prisons and proactive societal measures to reduce stigma. This combination can significantly enhance public safety and reduce crime rates by facilitating the successful reintegration of ex-offenders.

Teacher’s feedback:

This essay has all the prerequisites of Band 8 level writing.

Task Response: Band 8
You addressed the task comprehensively, providing a clear explanation of the causes and solutions for recidivism. The essay includes specific examples and a detailed discussion of both components of the prompt. Your conclusion succinctly reinforces your argument, demonstrating a full understanding of the task requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
Your vocabulary is varied and contextually appropriate, showing a good range of lexical resource. Terms like “comprehensive rehabilitation,” “societal perceptions,” “public awareness campaigns,” and “rectification of issues” are used accurately and enhance the quality of the discussion. You effectively avoid redundancy and demonstrate the ability to use complex vocabulary to discuss specific ideas clearly and precisely.

Lexical Resource: Band 8
There is a good range of vocabulary used, including terms specific to the topic (habitat destruction, ecological balance, greenhouse gas emissions). The language is generally precise, and the writers uses varied and complex sentence structures.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8
The essay showcases a wide range of grammatical structures with a high level of accuracy. Sentences are complex but clear, with appropriate use of punctuation and coordination. For example, your use of clauses and commas in sentences like “Many facilities emphasise punishment over rehabilitation, failing to address the primary causes that drive individuals to crime” demonstrates both complexity and control.

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IELTS essay, topic: The main aim of advertising is to improve sales of products that people do not really need (agree/disagree)

IELTS Model Essay Sample Band 28 March 2024

This essay topic was seen in recent IELTS test in Pakistan.

Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve sales of products that people do not really need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The belief that advertising primarily seeks to increase the sales of non-essential products is one that merits considerable attention. I believe that while advertising does play a role in influencing consumer behaviour, its objectives are manifold and not solely confined to this aspect.

It is undeniably true that advertising uses persuasive techniques, like skilful storytelling or interesting visuals to make a product seem more appealing to customers. In essence, adverts are designed to make people believe that they need to buy a product to achieve a certain lifestyle or social status, and this strategy can indeed lead to an increased purchase of goods that are not strictly necessary for one’s well-being or happiness. In this sense, advertising can drive consumerism beyond our practical needs.

However, it is also crucial to acknowledge that advertising also serves informative purposes, as it introduces consumers to new products and innovations that can genuinely enhance their quality of life or offer solutions to their problems. For instance, advertising can play a pivotal role in raising awareness about energy-efficient appliances, health-related products, or educational services. Furthermore, advertising supports economic growth by helping businesses reach their target audiences, and it also facilitates healthy competition which is often the driving force behind product improvement.

In conclusion, while advertising does influence the purchase of non-essential products, its role is more complex than just boosting sales of such items. Advertising also contributes to both consumer awareness and economic growth, and therefore we cannot say that it solely encourages unnecessary consumption.

Teacher’s feedback:

Overall, your essay would get an IELTS Band 8 as it presents a well-reasoned argument, supported by examples and demonstrating a high level of coherence, lexical resource, and grammatical accuracy.

Task Response: Band 8
You addressed the task effectively and presented a nuanced view of the role of advertising. The essay states a clear position that acknowledges the complexity of advertising’s objectives beyond merely increasing sales of non-essential products. This is evident in the statement, “I believe that while advertising does play a role in influencing consumer behaviour, its objectives are manifold and not solely confined to this aspect.” The argument is developed with relevant examples, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
Your essay is well-organised, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Ideas are logically sequenced, and paragraphs are cohesively linked, allowing for a smooth flow of information. The transition from discussing the persuasive nature of advertising to its informative purposes is smoothly handled: “However, it is also crucial to acknowledge that advertising also serves informative purposes…” This transition effectively links the paragraphs and maintains the flow of the argument, demonstrating strong coherence and cohesion. The overall use of cohesive devices is effective, enhancing the overall clarity and coherence of the argument.

Lexical Resource: Band 8
You demonstrated a strong lexical resource, using a variety of vocabulary accurately and appropriately (“manifold objectives,” “persuasive techniques,” “energy-efficient appliances,” “facilitates healthy competition”). Your precise use of vocabulary enhances the clarity and persuasiveness of the argument.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8
Your essay includes a wide range of grammatical structures used accurately and effectively, such as “advertising also serves informative purposes, as it introduces consumers to new products”. Complex sentences are handled well. Your grammatical proficiency supports the clear and articulate expression of ideas.

Submit your essay for correction and find out how to improve your Writing score.

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