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IELTS Essays – Band 8

IELTS Writing – Band 8 IELTS Sample Essays

IELTS essay, topic: More people move away from their friends and families for work (advantages/disadvantages)

IELTS Model Essay Sample Band 8 September 2024

This essay topic was seen in a recent IELTS test in India.

Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

Sample Band 8 Essay

In recent years, an increasing number of people have chosen to relocate away from their friends and families for employment opportunities. Driven by globalisation and the pursuit of career advancement, the decision to move away has a high potential for professional growth, a benefit that often comes at the expense of family ties. I believe that on balance, the advantages of such a move outweigh the disadvantages.

One of the primary attractions of relocating for work is the potential for career advancement. Major cities in one’s own country and abroad often offer a wealth of job opportunities, better salaries, and a chance to work with leading companies. For example, a software engineer moving from a small town to a tech hub like Silicon Valley might gain access to cutting-edge projects and substantial career growth. This enhanced professional landscape can lead to greater job satisfaction and long-term financial stability. Another positive aspect of living in a new city or country is the exposure to diverse cultures, ideas, and lifestyles, promoting personal growth and adaptability. Moving away can cultivate a sense of independence and resilience, as being in a new environment challenges individuals to become more self-reliant and resourceful.

However, such relocations are likely to cause a strain on personal relationships, as physical distance makes it difficult to maintain close ties with family and friends. This separation can result in feelings of loneliness and homesickness, affecting one’s mental well-being. For example, an expatriate living far from home might miss important family events, leading to a sense of isolation and disconnection. The absence of a local support network can exacerbate feelings of stress and anxiety, particularly in times of personal or professional crisis.

In conclusion, while moving away from friends and family for work involves some sacrifices, particularly in maintaining personal relationships, I find the advantages related to career advancement, personal growth, and independence more compelling.

Teacher’s comment:

This is a good example of a Band 8 essay.

Task Response: Band 8

Your essay effectively addresses the task prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of relocating for work. It presents a clear introduction, discusses the advantages in one paragraph and the disadvantages in the next, and concludes with a balanced viewpoint. Your personal opinion is clearly stated and well-supported throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8

The structure of your essay is clear, using paragraphs appropriately for the introduction, advantages, disadvantages, and conclusion. Within paragraphs, ideas are logically developed, and appropriate linking words and phrases are used to connect sentences and ideas. This helps create a smooth flow of information throughout the essay, making it easy to follow.

Lexical Resource: Band 8

You’ve demonstrated a strong range of vocabulary. There were no significant issues with word choice or repetition. Well done for using words such as:
“relocate” – to describe the act of moving to a new place for work
“globalization” – to discuss the broader context of why people move for work
“self-reliant” and “resourceful” – to highlight the personal growth aspect
“exacerbate” – to describe the intensifying of feelings of stress and anxiety

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8

Overall, the essay shows strong grammatical control. A variety of sentence structures is used effectively. There are only minor grammatical errors, such as slight article or preposition misuse – for example, ensuring correct article usage such as “the enhanced professional landscape” rather than “this enhanced professional landscape.” This does not detract from the overall clarity and readability of the essay.

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IELTS essay, topic: It is the schools’ responsibility to teach students good behaviour (agree/disagree)

IELTS Model Essay Sample Band 8 June 2024

Essay Question

It is the schools’ responsibility to teach students good behaviour in addition to providing formal education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Download the Sample Band 8 Essay here

Band 8 Answer

Schools are the cornerstone of almost every society, shaping the future of students by providing formal education. As young people spend the majority of their time in school, this raises the question of whether schools should also be responsible for instilling good behaviour in pupils. In my view, this should be a role just as essential as teaching academic subjects.

Since schools are often the primary environment where children interact with peers and adults outside their family, this setting is ideal for learning social norms and appropriate behaviour. Teachers are optimal role models who can demonstrate and reinforce positive behaviour through their interactions and the classroom atmosphere they create. A holistic development approach that integrates lessons on respect, empathy, and cooperation into daily activities can benefit students as well as the society in which they live.

Unsurprisingly, academic knowledge alone is insufficient for success in life and good behaviour, discipline, responsibility, and teamwork are essential for personal and professional achievements. Schools have the infrastructure to implement structured programs that address behavioural education. For instance, activities like group projects and extracurricular clubs encourage students to practice good behaviour in collaborative settings, preparing them for real-world challenges.

However, the role of parents and the wider community in teaching good behaviour should not be discounted. While schools can provide a foundation, the reinforcement of these values at home and in social settings is just as essential. This makes the partnership between schools, parents, and communities imperative for creating a consistent and supportive environment where students can learn and apply good behaviour.

In conclusion, schools have a significant responsibility in teaching students good behaviour alongside formal education. This dual function not only prepares students academically but also equips them with the necessary social skills for success in many aspects of life.

Teacher’s feedback:

Overall, your essay is a good example of IELTS Band 8 level.

Task Response: Band 8
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt by arguing that schools should play a significant role in teaching good behaviour alongside formal education. You provide a balanced view by acknowledging the roles of both schools and parents in this process. Examples and explanations are relevant and support your argument well.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
Your essay has a clear structure that guides the reader through your argument. There is a logical progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion. You effectively use cohesive devices such as “since,” “however,” “unsurprisingly” and “in conclusion” to connect ideas and enhance the flow of the essay.

Lexical Resource: Band 8
Your vocabulary is varied and used appropriately to express ideas clearly. Terms like “holistic development,” “structured programs,” and “reinforcement of values” are used effectively to discuss behavioural education. Phrases such as “dual function,” “social skills,” and “real-world challenges” contribute to a precise expression of ideas related to the topic.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8
Your essay shows a good command of grammatical structures. Sentences are generally well-constructed and contribute to the clarity and coherence of your argument. I was particularly impressed with this complex sentence “A holistic development approach that integrates lessons on respect, empathy, and cooperation into daily activities can benefit students”.

Submit your essay for correction and find out how to improve your Writing score.

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