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IELTS Essays – Band 5

IELTS Writing – Band 5 IELTS Sample Essays

IELTS Essay, topic: keeping pets to live a more enjoyable life

Some people believe that having a pet such as a cat or a dog helps old people to live a more enjoyable life and to stay healthier. How do you think old people benefit from having a pet? Do you think there are any problems related to old people who have pets?

, and indeed, the importance of relationship between human beings and their pets has been proved to be slightly exaggerated in some nations. However, although problems regarding may affect the health conditions of old people, the benefits that these lovely animals bring to them, physically and mentally alike, are clearly undeniable.

In of physical benefits, the well-being of elderly people with pets compared to those without pets, since not only do they have to take care of themselves, the responsibility ensure their one fed and well looked after encourages them to become even more active. Due to these extra activities, this might not have an obvious influence on their health, but at least this could help them to avoid bad . Coupled with physical side, their mental wellbeing will also be improved, and the reason is that having someone to take care of would reduce the chance of feeling . Therefore, their could be minimised.

In spite of the above advantages, the interaction between pets and vulnerable old people still exist. One of the major concerns is the of these animal on their tracheas, especially those asthma. virtually invisible in the air, many asthma symptoms are caused unconsciously by pets. In addition to the fact that old people might experience difficulty in looking after their pets, as their health conditions are limited, could become even more when they try take care of others.

In conclusion, it is true that obstacles still exist for elderly people in adopting pets, but the benefits of this topic its . For such reasons, instead of , further support would be far more beneficial.

You have made an attempt to accomplish the task response. However, there are quite a few mistakes in the essay – the main problematic areas are grammar, sentence structure and word choice. In addition, the length of the task response could be reduced. This task response needs to be worked on and improved. Revise grammar and work on your sentence structure. Avoid writing more than 280 words to save time and reduce the number of mistakes, and remember to always proofread your work once you’re finished. Overall, this looks like a Band 5.5 essay

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There is an increasing trend of keeping pets in many communities
animal hair
terms
remove this word, it is not needed
is better
‘but also’ is missing here
to
loved
is being
alone
lifestyle
lonely
depression
disadvantages of much
harmful effects
hair
who suffer from
As the hair is
it
challenging
to
outweigh
shortcomings
not keeping pets

IELTS Essay, topic: the mother’s and father’s role in a family

Boys are most influenced by their fathers and girls are most influenced by their mothers. Do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons to support your opinion.

It is true that nowadays have a great influence children. Some people hold the opinion that the same sex is the major determination of influencing parent, but others . As far as I am concerned, . My arguments for this point are listed below.

First of all, a father is the person who have already passed ways his son is passing now, in other words, sons are following their father’s footsteps. , based on experience it is easy for a father to notice his sons’ drawbacks and to influence them.

Secondly, it is true that a boy is , a girl is a subtle and fragile one. It is hard for mothers to influence their sons, because it is not likely that can affect a strong one.

In conclusion, it seems to me unfair that boys are most influenced by their mothers. Based on at least two points above I strongly agree that children are influenced by a parent of the same gender.

This essay is too short, 190 words instead of the minimum requirement of 250. It doesn’t say anything about girls being influenced by their mothers, which is also a part of the task – therefore the task is only partially covered. The sentences are not complex enough, there are grammatical mistakes and inaccuracies (see comments underlined in blue). Overall, this looks like a Band 5.5 essay

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parents
on their
disagree
Do not copy the task exactly, rephrase it
those
in life which
Thus
considered a strong person
whereas
a vulnerable person