![IELTS Model Essay Sample Band 19 March 2024](https://www.ielts-blog.com/images/featured/model-essay-sample-band-8-25.jpg)
This essay topic was seen in recent IELTS test in Croatia.
Some people say it is better to be unemployed than work in a job you dislike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The dilemma of whether being unemployed is preferable compared to working in a job that you dislike is a topic of considerable debate. Personally, I believe that while finding joy in work is important, the benefits of being employed outweigh the downsides of a less-than-ideal job.
Those who advocate for unemployment instead of a dissatisfying job often highlight a belief that life is too short to spend in a job that makes one unhappy. They argue that the free time spent out of workforce can be better used searching for a job that matches one’s interests and values, or even pursuing further education to improve job prospects. This perspective suggests that freedom from a disliked job offers mental peace and opens doors to exploring new opportunities that could lead to a more fulfilling career that better aligns with one’s passions or values.
Conversely, the importance of having a job, whether it is fulfilling or not, cannot be understated. Employment offers financial stability, crucial for meeting our basic needs and maintaining a desired lifestyle. It also provides structure, social connections, and a sense of purpose, all of which are integral to one’s overall well-being. Besides, every job is a learning opportunity, offering valuable experiences that can pave the way to a better position in the future.
In my opinion, while the pursuit of fulfilling work is important, the benefits of being employed should not be overlooked. Having a job provides financial stability and can also be a stepping stone to better opportunities, therefore compensating for the lack of enjoyment.
Teacher’s feedback:
Overall, your essay would get an IELTS Band 8 for the reasons outlined below.
Task Response: Band 8
You’ve effectively addressed the task, presenting a nuanced view that acknowledges the complexity of the issue. Your balanced discussion, particularly the acknowledgment that “the benefits of being employed outweigh the downsides of a less-than-ideal job,” directly addresses the essay task with depth and insight.Your position is clear and well-supported throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
The essay is logically organised with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that each discuss a different aspect of the argument, and a coherent conclusion that summarises your viewpoint. The use of cohesive devices to link ideas and paragraphs is adept, ensuring the essay flows smoothly from one point to the next.
Lexical Resource: Band 8
Your vocabulary is varied and appropriate, with precise use of language to discuss the topic (e.g., “financial stability,” “mental peace,” “desired lifestyle”). You successfully convey nuanced arguments using a range of vocabulary without repetition, demonstrating lexical skill.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8
The essay showcases a wide range of grammatical structures used accurately. You employ complex sentence forms effectively such as “Those who advocate for unemployment instead of a dissatisfying job often highlight a belief that life is too short to spend in a job that makes one unhappy.” The accuracy and variety in your grammatical constructions contribute significantly to the clarity and sophistication of your writing.
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