Simone Braverman

This essay topic was seen in recent IELTS test in Kazakhstan.

The role of parents and family in the future success of a person is more important than knowledge and skills learnt at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The significance of parents and family versus school education in shaping a person’s future success has long been debated. While some argue that parental guidance and familial support are paramount, others contend that knowledge and skills acquired in school play a pivotal role. Personally, I believe that the role of parents and family, although crucial, should not overshadow the importance of formal education in determining future success.

To begin, parents and family undoubtedly have a profound impact on a person’s development. From an early age, children absorb values, attitudes, and behaviours from their family environment. Parents provide emotional support, nurture talents, and instil vital life skills such as resilience, discipline, and work ethic. The role of parents in nurturing confidence, fostering interpersonal skills, and encouraging personal growth cannot be understated.

However, the argument that parents and family solely determine a person’s success is flawed. School education equips individuals with essential knowledge, critical thinking abilities, and academic qualifications that form the foundation for future opportunities. Schools provide a structured learning environment, exposure to diverse perspectives, and a platform for social interaction and skill development. Furthermore, formal education fosters independence, adaptability, and the ability to navigate challenges beyond the familial context.

In conclusion, while the role of parents and family in shaping a person’s success is undeniably important, it is equally crucial to acknowledge the vital role of formal education in preparing individuals for the challenges and opportunities they will encounter in their lives. Parents and family provide a nurturing environment, values, and life skills, while schools offer a comprehensive education, knowledge acquisition, and social growth. Therefore, a balanced approach that appreciates the significance of both aspects is the key to fostering holistic development and maximising future success.

Teacher’s feedback:

Overall, this essay is worthy of IELTS Band 8. Here are the reasons why:

Task Response: Band 8
The essay presents a nuanced argument that recognises the importance of both parental guidance and formal education. The writer clearly states their position, arguing that while the role of parents and family is crucial, it should not overshadow the importance of education. This is substantiated by discussing the unique contributions of both influences on personal development and future success.

Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
The essay is well-organised, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, with the first discussing the role of parents and the second the importance of school education. The use of transition phrases like “To begin,” “However,” and “In conclusion” effectively guides the reader through the essay, enhancing its coherence and cohesion.

Lexical Resource: Band 8
The essay demonstrates a strong command of vocabulary, with terms such as “paramount,” “pivotal role,” “nurture talents,” “instil vital life skills,” and “comprehensive education.” This varied and precise vocabulary helps to convey complex ideas clearly and effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8
The essay showcases a wide range of grammatical structures used accurately. Complex grammatical structures are used without error, as in “Schools provide a structured learning environment, exposure to diverse perspectives, and a platform for social interaction and skill development,” demonstrating the writer’s grammatical proficiency.

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