This essay topic was seen in recent IELTS test in Pakistan.
Some people say that the main aim of advertising is to improve sales of products that people do not really need. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The belief that advertising primarily seeks to increase the sales of non-essential products is one that merits considerable attention. I believe that while advertising does play a role in influencing consumer behaviour, its objectives are manifold and not solely confined to this aspect.
It is undeniably true that advertising uses persuasive techniques, like skilful storytelling or interesting visuals to make a product seem more appealing to customers. In essence, adverts are designed to make people believe that they need to buy a product to achieve a certain lifestyle or social status, and this strategy can indeed lead to an increased purchase of goods that are not strictly necessary for one’s well-being or happiness. In this sense, advertising can drive consumerism beyond our practical needs.
However, it is also crucial to acknowledge that advertising also serves informative purposes, as it introduces consumers to new products and innovations that can genuinely enhance their quality of life or offer solutions to their problems. For instance, advertising can play a pivotal role in raising awareness about energy-efficient appliances, health-related products, or educational services. Furthermore, advertising supports economic growth by helping businesses reach their target audiences, and it also facilitates healthy competition which is often the driving force behind product improvement.
In conclusion, while advertising does influence the purchase of non-essential products, its role is more complex than just boosting sales of such items. Advertising also contributes to both consumer awareness and economic growth, and therefore we cannot say that it solely encourages unnecessary consumption.
Teacher’s feedback:
Overall, your essay would get an IELTS Band 8 as it presents a well-reasoned argument, supported by examples and demonstrating a high level of coherence, lexical resource, and grammatical accuracy.
Task Response: Band 8
You addressed the task effectively and presented a nuanced view of the role of advertising. The essay states a clear position that acknowledges the complexity of advertising’s objectives beyond merely increasing sales of non-essential products. This is evident in the statement, “I believe that while advertising does play a role in influencing consumer behaviour, its objectives are manifold and not solely confined to this aspect.” The argument is developed with relevant examples, showing a good understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
Your essay is well-organised, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Ideas are logically sequenced, and paragraphs are cohesively linked, allowing for a smooth flow of information. The transition from discussing the persuasive nature of advertising to its informative purposes is smoothly handled: “However, it is also crucial to acknowledge that advertising also serves informative purposes…” This transition effectively links the paragraphs and maintains the flow of the argument, demonstrating strong coherence and cohesion. The overall use of cohesive devices is effective, enhancing the overall clarity and coherence of the argument.
Lexical Resource: Band 8
You demonstrated a strong lexical resource, using a variety of vocabulary accurately and appropriately (“manifold objectives,” “persuasive techniques,” “energy-efficient appliances,” “facilitates healthy competition”). Your precise use of vocabulary enhances the clarity and persuasiveness of the argument.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8
Your essay includes a wide range of grammatical structures used accurately and effectively, such as “advertising also serves informative purposes, as it introduces consumers to new products”. Complex sentences are handled well. Your grammatical proficiency supports the clear and articulate expression of ideas.
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