![IELTS Model Essay Sample Band 8 July 2023](https://www.ielts-blog.com/images/featured/model-essay-sample-band-8-7.jpg)
This essay topic was seen in recent IELTS test in India.
People in senior positions should be compensated with significantly higher salaries than people in lower positions in the same company. Do you agree or disagree?
Give your own opinion and include relevant examples.
Compensation is a critical element in employee performance and retention. Senior positions in companies often come with higher salaries, but the extent of this gap has been a source of debate. While some argue that senior executives should be given significantly higher salaries than their lower-level colleagues, others believe in creating a more equitable compensation system that values employee contributions irrespective of their rank in the company. In my opinion, rather than a rank or title, compensation should be based on the value that a person delivers to the organisation.
One argument for compensating senior executives with higher salaries is that they carry more significant responsibilities and accountability than lower-level employees. Moreover, senior executives have often accrued years of experience and developed a unique set of skills that are not found in lower-level employees, which again supports compensation based on the seniority of employees in the company. In many companies there are managers who worked their way up and have contributed many years until they were promoted to the positions they are currently in; it is reasonable that they earn more than junior employees who are just starting out.
On the other hand, there are those who believe that excessive compensation gaps lead to inequality and can cause lower-level employees to lose morale and productivity. While it is true that senior executives carry a larger load of responsibilities, massive gaps in compensation can lead to resentment and dissatisfaction among the workforce. Furthermore, lower-level employees are often the ones responsible for the day-to-day operations of a company, which means that they contribute to the company’s overall success, and therefore, they should also receive fair compensation.
To conclude, there are compelling arguments for both sides of the compensation debate. Senior executives should be compensated fairly for the unique skills and increased responsibilities that come with their position, and to attract top-level talent to companies. However, this does not mean that lower-level employees should be denied the opportunity to earn a fair wage. Compensation, therefore, should be based on the value that an employee brings to the organization, rather than their rank or title.
Teacher’s feedback:
Overall, your essay is worthy of Band 8 in IELTS.
Task Response: Band 8
You’ve addressed the task effectively, presenting a clear position that compensation should be based on the value delivered to the organisation rather than rank. The argument is well-developed with logical reasoning for each side before concluding with your own opinion, which is a strong approach for this type of essay.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
The essay is well-organised and logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph focuses on a specific aspect of the argument, contributing to a coherent overall structure. The use of cohesive devices like “on the other hand,” “moreover,” and “to conclude” effectively guides the reader through the argument, enhancing the essay’s clarity and flow.
Lexical Resource: Band 8
You’ve used a varied and sophisticated vocabulary to convey your message clearly and persuasively. Terms such as “compensation,” “equitable,” “resentment,” “dissatisfaction,” and “unique skills” are used appropriately, contributing to a precise and articulate discussion of the topic.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8
The essay demonstrates a strong command of grammatical structures. Complex and compound sentences are used effectively to convey nuanced ideas, and the grammatical accuracy is high. This allows for clear and effective communication of ideas.
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