This essay topic was seen in a recent IELTS test in Pakistan
Some people argue that sports are essential for us. Others think of sports as an activity for leisure time. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Sample Band 8 Essay
Sports have always been an integral part of human society, dating back to ancient times. Today, the importance of sports is still widely debated. Some people argue that sports are essential for our physical and mental wellbeing, while others view sports as a leisure activity. Personally, I think of sports as a very important aspect of life and make an effort to be active on a daily basis.
Those who argue that sports are essential for us believe in the numerous benefits that sports offer. Firstly, sports help us to maintain a healthy lifestyle. By engaging in sports regularly, we can keep our bodies in good shape, improve our cardiovascular health, and gain muscle strength. Physical exercise helps reduce the risk of diseases such as obesity, heart disease, and diabetes. Moreover, sports can provide relief from stress and anxiety and contribute to better mental health. The social aspect of sports also promotes teamwork, leadership, and communication skills, which are valuable in personal and professional life.
On the other hand, some people see sports as an activity for leisure time. They believe that sports should not be overly emphasised in one’s life because of the limited value they provide, and that people should engage in sports only as a form of entertainment. In their opinion, sports should not be considered as a necessity but rather as an option for enjoyment.
Although there is some truth in both views, I believe that sports are essential for us. Firstly, the physical and mental benefits of sports cannot be ignored. A healthy body and mind are fundamental to the overall well-being of an individual, and sports provide an effective means of achieving both. Moreover, sports can teach us important life skills such as teamwork and communication, which are crucial in both personal and professional life.
In conclusion, sports can be seen as essential for our physical and mental well being, as well as a means of personal growth and development. While some may view sports as a leisure activity, I strongly believe that individuals should engage in sports in order to lead a healthy and fulfilling life.
Teacher’s feedback:
This essay is a solid example of a Band 8 level writing.
Task Response: Band 8
You’ve effectively addressed the task by discussing both views on the importance of sports and clearly stating your own opinion. Well done for arguing that sports are essential for physical and mental well-being, and providing a balanced discussion before concluding with your stance. This approach demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
You’ve organised your essay well, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion that summarises your opinion. Your use of transition phrases like “Firstly,” “On the other hand,” and “In conclusion” effectively guides the reader through your argument, enhancing the essay’s overall coherence and cohesion.
Lexical Resource: Band 8
You’ve demonstrated a strong command of vocabulary, with terms such as “integral part,” “cardiovascular health,” “muscle strength,” and “overall well-being.” This varied and precise vocabulary helps to convey your ideas clearly and effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8
You’ve showcased a wide range of grammatical structures accurately. Complex sentence structures, such as “By engaging in sports regularly, we can keep our bodies in good shape,” contribute to the clarity and sophistication of your writing. Your grammatical accuracy is consistently high, which supports the effectiveness of your argument.
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