Essay Question
It is the schools’ responsibility to teach students good behaviour in addition to providing formal education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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Band 8 Answer
Schools are the cornerstone of almost every society, shaping the future of students by providing formal education. As young people spend the majority of their time in school, this raises the question of whether schools should also be responsible for instilling good behaviour in pupils. In my view, this should be a role just as essential as teaching academic subjects.
Since schools are often the primary environment where children interact with peers and adults outside their family, this setting is ideal for learning social norms and appropriate behaviour. Teachers are optimal role models who can demonstrate and reinforce positive behaviour through their interactions and the classroom atmosphere they create. A holistic development approach that integrates lessons on respect, empathy, and cooperation into daily activities can benefit students as well as the society in which they live.
Unsurprisingly, academic knowledge alone is insufficient for success in life and good behaviour, discipline, responsibility, and teamwork are essential for personal and professional achievements. Schools have the infrastructure to implement structured programs that address behavioural education. For instance, activities like group projects and extracurricular clubs encourage students to practice good behaviour in collaborative settings, preparing them for real-world challenges.
However, the role of parents and the wider community in teaching good behaviour should not be discounted. While schools can provide a foundation, the reinforcement of these values at home and in social settings is just as essential. This makes the partnership between schools, parents, and communities imperative for creating a consistent and supportive environment where students can learn and apply good behaviour.
In conclusion, schools have a significant responsibility in teaching students good behaviour alongside formal education. This dual function not only prepares students academically but also equips them with the necessary social skills for success in many aspects of life.
Teacher’s feedback:
Overall, your essay is a good example of IELTS Band 8 level.
Task Response: Band 8
Your essay effectively addresses the prompt by arguing that schools should play a significant role in teaching good behaviour alongside formal education. You provide a balanced view by acknowledging the roles of both schools and parents in this process. Examples and explanations are relevant and support your argument well.
Coherence and Cohesion: Band 8
Your essay has a clear structure that guides the reader through your argument. There is a logical progression of ideas from introduction to conclusion. You effectively use cohesive devices such as “since,” “however,” “unsurprisingly” and “in conclusion” to connect ideas and enhance the flow of the essay.
Lexical Resource: Band 8
Your vocabulary is varied and used appropriately to express ideas clearly. Terms like “holistic development,” “structured programs,” and “reinforcement of values” are used effectively to discuss behavioural education. Phrases such as “dual function,” “social skills,” and “real-world challenges” contribute to a precise expression of ideas related to the topic.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy: Band 8
Your essay shows a good command of grammatical structures. Sentences are generally well-constructed and contribute to the clarity and coherence of your argument. I was particularly impressed with this complex sentence “A holistic development approach that integrates lessons on respect, empathy, and cooperation into daily activities can benefit students”.
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